(From episode 44 of I Like Birds Podcast)

I take pride in being a voice for God. I’m hard on myself naturally, taking on this life pursuit and starting this podcast was a big leap of faith. At anytime I can mess up what God’s word says or God’s intention of what that word says. So while this podcast is one you can learn from about Jesus, about God, about the Bible.. it’s also a vessel to communicate my life to people who will take the time to hear about it. I was listening to a few minutes of Matthew McConaughey on Joe Rogans podcast and Matthew was talking about his memoir he just wrote and published. He then proceeded to discuss what has made him happy over the last 30 years and he explained how keeping a simple journal was able to keep his whole life together. Take 10-30 minutes every morning, every night and just write. Tell your journal what you did that day, how you felt about it, and what you are going to do tomorrow and your life will slowly start changing, being more purposeful. I realized something when I heard that today, I use to write in my journal way more than I do now, and I realized that journal got replaced in these last 5 months with this podcast. I started this in early may and my life has been incredibly deeper. More full. More purpose, more life. Getting with God for 30 minutes a day has opened my heart up to want so much more of God, so much more of me. God wants me to reflect, share, think, feel, and communicate the love I have for him with this audience we have. Guys Matthew was talking about God, not a journal. Being alone with your thoughts and being in God’s word and in prayer, with worship music playing, with writing in your journal. That is praying, that is loving God, that is happiness. That is what we are seeking in this life. Good vibes… God’s love from Him and from the people around you who also love him. Because if they know how to love Jesus, they know how to love you too.

I was on a walk tonight and I began thinking about how this entire 3 plus weeks I’ve been dealing with something in my life I’ve never experienced before. A death of a loved one at 27 years old. From an incident that doesn’t make humanly sense. I was on my walk and for the last few days I’ve been stressing this episode in particular. I didn't know what I wanted to share. Do I want to go straight back in the Bible and tell you about an incredible miracle Jesus did. Do I want to tell you what Paul says about faith? Do I want to tell you about how dope Bible school has been? What do they want to hear? A horrible mindset I was in for a few days, what do you guys want to hear? I can’t think that way or I’ll never keep an audience. On my walk, it all made sense God said tell them whatever comes out of you when you sit down with Me

So this episode you may love, but it wasn’t made just for you, it was made for God. Made for me. And made for you to know God through my faith journey.

I’ll be honest I’m struggling man. Those 7 days on a road trip surrounded by the death of my best friend Armani, it was hard to know what to do with myself and my time. Time is different when you are grieving like my heart is. My days don’t feel fulfilled, they feel like I’m just trying to accomplish anything more like just try and survive them. You guys know me pretty well, I’m normally a very driven person. These last 10 days I’ve lost that drive. I’ve lost a little bit of the vision. I’ve let my mind, and heart feel this past weekend. I think I fought it too much though. I cried in the funeral multiple times, but I let distractions hold me back from being fully present at Armanis funeral. Kelly spoke and my heart shattered, she explained everything I love about my friend so beautiful in front of 250 people. So much respect for her and am so proud of how much she’s grown in such little time. A true woman of God man, she should be proud of herself. Go show her some love y’all, and never stop.

I have to tell you guys something. The microphone I use for this podcast, I also use at my open mics and all the shows I’ve done in town. Well I took this microphone down to the celebration of life this weekend. I did a eulogy and man it was hard, heavy at a few moments, made Kelly cry and really spoke from my heart to about hundred people. I told them about Armani and Jesus. Let’s get deep. The last people to speak into this microphone were the father of Armani. The mother of Armani. The fiancé of Armani. The brother in law of Armani who is also the best man. The sister of Armani. The sound of love was spoken into this microphone. With that realization of this, I will never again let another person hold this mic and I will never let another voice speak into it other than myself when I record the episodes to this show.

The episodes to this show are scenes from my movie of life loving Jesus. These episodes are my new journal entires. This will be a chapter in time I will be able to look back on as will my children, wife, friends, and family who love me and love Jesus Christ. It’s the only podcast I can ever do. It’s the only thing I want to do with my time. Is write, read, and tell the world about a guy named Jesus and what he’s done in my life and more specifically what he’s done in yours. At the end of this episode I will play a clip of a podcast I heard that completely made me fall in love with Jesus all over again in a time of need. I been struggling mentally and emotionally, which also makes me feel spiritually weak. All of spiritual strength starts there. Mind and Heart. Got to get them right by making time for God. I am not myself unless I’m doing that. These episodes every week keep me accountable and keep me inspired to know more about God and deepen my relationship with him.

Paco who is Armanis dad is a spiritual leader. Wow. He blew me away this weekend and I was shy around him because I look up to him as a man. He is on a different level than most. He shows me there are levels to spiritual maturity. Guys I’ma baby in this game of Jesus. In this game of faith. I’m seeking and I promise to always tell you the truth in that, it is a constant pursuit of feeling and knowing God more. Paco spoke like a champ at each event, kept it so strong, and was talking God the whole time and was leading the rest of his family to mention God in every eulogy that was written.

George and Franchesca blew me away with their words and it hit me so stinking hard in the gut. I just felt like a stab in my baby heart and just felt so bad for them and me. I felt bad for me too. I miss him, I cry about it a lot. I think about it a lot. I don’t want to talk about it a lot. I want to talk about it a lot.

Life is short. My best friends Mikey Olivier Tina and myself may have gotten that on our bodies. I’ll tell you guys why. Mikey Olivier and Armani and I had a butler on one of our cruises. A butler how pretentious. I spent like 300 and somehow we had a butler. This dude was the dopest dude y’all. We talked to him everyday for like 5 days. He was from another country and was working hard for his daughter out of wedlock and was just so grateful to have a job. He was happy. He talked about God with us. And then ended a conversation one night with “Life’s Short’

A simple expression heard many times, a couple simple words that I never heard someone with that story or background say it. How many times have you had multiple conversations with a dude from another country. It was mind-blowing conversations. Me and the boys then talked about Kevin on and off throughout the whole trip and we left that cruise different men. We left with new life experiences, cultural insight, and a philosophical vantage point we haven’t really noticed.

None of us at the times knew a real death. We never experienced what Life’s Short means… Mikey was so inspired by the moment, he went back home and a few weeks later he had a tattoo on his leg that said “Life’s Short”

Kevin told us the words. Armani showed us what it means.

Life is short. Love your people and most of all Love God. He can bless you in ways no one else can. He can remove things from your life no one else can. He can wash away all the things that you think suck about you and he can amplify the gifts he gave to you. But we must be with God in this life or we will fail. We won’t achieve our goals without God, we won’t enjoy the completed goals without God, Even if we do achieve them all life is meaningless without God. Read Ecclesiastes if you’d like to hear it from a man named Solomon.. who happens to be the wisest man to ever live.

Don’t you want to be wise? How wonderful to be wise, to analyze and interpret things. Wisdom lights up a persons face, softening it’s harshness. Chapter 8 verse 1.

Wow I was flipping through this book and I am going to read it this weekend now. It is so good just from reading a little through chapter 8.

Read it with me….

So let’s talk a little bit more about this weekend. My first funeral. I had stains on my shirt and I had to change in the parking lot, the enemy was upon my mind and heart. I was a little rushed and angry because the stains and I feared being late. SO I was on edge, distracted and really was desperate for that funeral to be closure. It wasn’t and maybe only time will do that. God created time to help heal all wounds. It’s crazy how he does it but he does!

Speaking of God the service was in a catholic church mass service and man, I was lost. I was trying to just pray the way I pray but kept getting distracted by what one might called structure. I don’t know how else to describe it without being kinda snarky. It was structured and legit. Felt like Armani was Honored like a prince. The pastor spoke and did like a ten min speech and he crushed it. Very well spoken guy who you can tell was very intelligent in the word and in spiritual leadership in general.

My wife had to take Malachi to the back of the room for being fussy and I was alone next to my pops. He was distracting to sit next to, and I was just all in my head the whole time, hard to be present. Every moment I was present I was crying let’s just be honest.

We then went to the burial site and it was pouring rain. Rain was slapping like we were at some kind of EDM festival, thanks a lot Armani. Buddy still got jokes. He was like nah B this gotta look like a movie. Back umbrellas and so much rain that people were drenched head to toe at Armanis burial spot. It was bananas. We talked a little bit to diff groups of people and really just loved on Armani in each circle I was in and then Olivier and Mikey and I took a picture with his hedge piece and were one of the last ones to leave. I’m so glad we took that picture. That picture makes me think about Life’s Short y’all….

What are we doing…. Think about your life and how much more do you need God in it? I know I need more God, less what I think I want. Ecclesiastes chapter 12 verse 1 “Don’t let excitement of youth cause you to forget your creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say “Life is not pleasant anymore”…

can you tell im just reading the first verse of every chapter and how it all applies, that’s how dope God works. This book is also a prophecy it foreshadows what’s also to come in your life. It’s a powerful book and every time I read through it I liked it and I can’t wait to read it this weekend. Maybe we will do some episodes around it.

God was very present this week in Florida. My friends and I prayed in the car before we went into the celebration of life event. We haven’t done that much and it felt really good to do it. I watched the same friends who hugged, laughed, and roasted Armani for years set up the table for his flowers. I saw my friends on their knees putting tape on a table cloth and it broke my heart guys. All of our pictures were us having good times and now the pictures I took this weekend were my friends helping set up his table at his funeral. Ahhh man it was so heavy, I’m trying to be strong and tough for everyone but dang MAN that got me. So many other moments got me this weekend, and man I need God more than ever for a while. This isn’t something that you don’t need God for. I need him so much and so do you guys.

My friends and I spoke about God more than we ever have before this week. We had deep conversations on a patio night after night. We caught up, we conversed, we laughed, we felt, we reflected, and we exchanged our hearts for God with each other. It was so special and I highly recommend you talk to your friends about God. It brings you closer and my friends I saw this weekend know in their hearts we are closer than ever now. We have the similar life is short tats to prove it, sorry mom.

My mom had a cross on and it was special to see. She got to experience my friendship with my friends at dinner one night and it was just a great trip down to see my mom, my dad, my brother, and my friends, and all the new friends I made this week through the vessel of Armani. God’s fruit of his death continues to show. I am encouraged by that, as should you be. My friends met one of my other best buds Erin and they hit it off though the vessel of Armani and we had a great lunch and night afterwards. It was so great to see other people who loved Armani this weekend, really helped me feel comfort. God uses people to show you his love.

One more thing I’d like to share.. My dad was encouraging of the podcast and also gave me some Tony Evans cds and a book! Which is awesome cause I like Tony and he is a powerful pastor.

My dad this weekend also told me he never hears me tell people how to be saved?

He pulled out his 3 fingers and tried to give me the 3 steps to tell people how to get saved in Jesus. It’s not 3 fingers, it’s not practical, it’s not something I can tell you. I can only show you through me. If I tell you how to be saved and know Jesus in 3 steps you’ll think it’s easy.. It’s not easy to know Jesus the way you need to… it’s an everyday fight between flesh and spirit. It’s a every day fight between this world and the kingdom. It’s a fight against other spirits and principalities. We must make the decision everyday to ask questions and hear what God has to tell you through his word.

Jesus is the son of God. Jesus died for our sins. Jesus rose from the dead and he ascended into heaven. He will come back one day. Those are the three fingers… What are we going to do about it though. Are we going to check the boxes or are we going to do everything in our humanly power to surrender our lives to Christ and pursue him life never before. Jesus is King. Jesus is the Messiah. Jesus is the only way to know God.