A Father Shares the Story of Losing His 6-Year-Old Son to Neuroblastoma
What was the first reaction of finding out the news?
We were completely shocked. The disease Kyle had, Neuroblastoma, is known as the silent killer as it can spread without showing any obvious symptoms.
How did Kyle start expressing his thoughts of the afterlife and hearing from Jesus?
Kyle was a faith driven little boy his whole life. He loved going to bible camp each summer. He first spoke about Jesus speaking with him about a year before his diagnosis, when upon tucking him in at night he told my wife Leslie that he was never going to be any bigger. She said no, you are going to be big like your Daddy, he said “nope, Jesus already told me”..
How you kept hope and faith through it not going the way you believed it would
You get thru something like this by focusing on what is possible. Without faith driven belief it’s hard to get thru something like this. We worked hard to be kind to ourselves. Empathy is a powerful value and something you can actively do, that’s what I focused on. Kyle was setting a standard through his mindset and behaviors that we needed to learn from and model.
How come people feel led to start foundations when losing a loved one?
I think it happens for a few reasons. First, it’s a way to show your love for the person you have lost. Second, it’s a way to share who they were, what legacy they left behind. Third, it’s something you can control, when you lose a loved one and you did all you could to save them, yet all the prayers, work, go for naught you can see them live through a foundation or charity in their honor.
How has your marriage been since the loss?
I am often asked how a marriage can survive a loss like this, especially an only child. Divorce rates are incredibly high for marriages that experience the loss of a child. We have been able to grow our relationship by allowing for our own personal grieving process. Leslie grieves differently than I do and I don’t judge that and I grieve differently than her and she doesn’t judge me. Empathy for one another has been a HUGE part of the equation. I see empathy as a VERB, its action and feeling. You MUST see the world from the other persons perspective, something we could use a heck of a lot more of these days.
What does Summer think of Kyle and her relationship with him even though she never met him.
Well, Summer is another miracle that we believe came from God and Kyle, I am starting to frame my next book about the experience we had in adoption and how you can get thru the ups and downs of that journey. Summer was adopted at birth. She was a survivor of the Plan B pill, no pre-natal care because the birth Mom didn’t even know she was pregnant until 8 weeks before she was born.
She was born February 17th, 2012, Kyle passed May 3rd 2011…9 months later…same color hair, same color eyes, plays ice hockey, same sweet demeanor. This is proof the Kyle sits with Jesus, who told Kyle that’s where he would be when he went to heaven. I am sure he asked Jesus to bless us with Summer after he was taken from us to go home.